4 Things Emotional Trauma Taught me
So lets face it. I lm sure you have witnessed someone judge a woman and say "oh shes one of those girls, shes never been hurt" or "shes pretty shes had it easy all her life" there is nothing more ignorant than comments like these. Let me break it to you, Ive had people tell me these things when in reality, I have experienced pain. Heartbreak, betrayal, disrespect, been cheated on, survived an attempted rape, grew up with verbal and emotional abuse and in 2016, became a mother who had to face her biggest fear- a co-parenting model. Now, for all of those experiences, which I will remind you whatever you feel in your experiences ARE valid- they have been blessings. It wasn't until I made the choice to thank my pain that I can see with eyes of compassion and forgiveness.
I hope you enjoy me sharing my 4 tips to guide you past the bullshit and into bold self love.
1. You Are Not A Victim, You Are A Goddess
Being a goddess doesnt mean you have to be perfect. Some may feel there is no way you can exude this essence unless you are completely void of pain. Im here to tell you it's complete crap! My trauma pushed me down the rabbit hole of striving for perfection and thinking that I had to be a certain way before I was worthy of love, success and happiness, once again, crap! Our pain has a way of feeling really heavy and we fall into victim mode. What does this mean? This means that you allow your pain to control your life by changing who you truly are. If you had a bad breakup, maybe you no longer want to love "like that" again or invest yourself in deep vulnerability because there is fear of experiencing what you had in the past. The problem is, you are only hurting yourself because you are not your pain. You are SO much more than that and your heart is ready to heal! Oh and time wont do it for you. We have to make the decision to face it and heal it WITH time. You must be ready for this... but you cant sit back and complain about how everyone hurt you and did this to you and nothing ever works out because believe me it does and it will and you are stronger now from this! Hello goddess...
2. You Can Heal
You. Will. And you know how I know this to be true? Because im livin proof that you can survive and thrive despite whatever emotional trauma you have experienced. I have been a part of some serious trauma and when I look back, it was a tough coulple years for me. Id say from the age of 14-22 I was struggling but I always felt guided to transform the emotions and find inner peace. Other times it was challenging and trust me, it doesnt have to be perfect. Transformation is incremental. I havent always been grounded, expressive or as confident as I am now and even today, there are emotions that arise but im not that wounded 14 year old girl anymore and it's because I made a choice to heal those parts I was carrying inside of me for so long. I made a decision that I didnt want to be damaged goods or emo or let the pain take over my life. I liberated myself through finding modalities that spoke to me. Yoga. Journaling. Music. And then I stick to them because thats how I honor my myself!
3. This is An Opportunity
So here we are. Hurt and feeling like life just sucks right? You are worth more than those thoughts and here lies the opportunity to let beauty unfold from the pain. What is it teaching you? What did it show you? How did it really make you feel? We cant answer this until we see the experience as an opportunity for growth and once you know my goddess! Let me tell ya, you are going to be blown away by the clarity thats going to wash over you and all of it will make sense. I promise it will. But im still smiling and I swear its authentic. Its because im choosing to stay trusting the universe and in the higher energy. I choose to bring in magic versus giving up, this is an act of self-love.
4. You Are Your Biggest Critic
That inner shit talker. The judgey voice. The shame. The blame. The guilt. THIS is what sucks us right back into the shadows of our trauma. Sometimes we must revisit the painful experiences, the trauma may even resurface through different encounters. The more you move into ACCEPTANCE, you can get in the habit of loving where you are and how far you've come. This is key to helping navigate through the muck without making yourself feel like shit. Critizing yourself does nothing but keeps us stuck. You are not your pain and you are definitely not worth the shit talkin. Remember no one knows what youve been through, only you know. Dont let it stop you from using the trauma to bloom into your magnificence.
you got this!!!